life’s a picnic

Here’s a bunch of stuff i’m thinking about now:

Valentine’s Day is making me think of Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116. I know it’s overly and unrealistically romantic and cliche, but it still makes my heart melt every time. Go check it out if you don’t know it. It’s so poignant. 

Yep, i’m a lonely heart this year. BUT! I had much more than compensation in the fantastic shopping i indulged in today! That being said, i think i’m beginning to have a bit of a problem. I’m not sure, but i may be seriously addicted to shopping. I need to get my fix like every other day. And the particularly dreadful part is that there are only so many places one can shop in good old Singapore. Looks like i’ll have to graduate to shopping overseas now. By the way, i refuse to consider myself a shopaholic. Not only because i don’t like the word but also, it reminds me of the silly airheads like the girls in The Bergdorf Blondes. (Yes, i’ll admit i did read the book. But only because the cover was pretty. The inside of it, however, wasn’t nearly as good.) I much prefer the term ‘temporary compulsive shopper’. Temporary. I fully intend to outgrow this habit. It’s just a matter of time. But for now, as an outcome of this rather unhealthy habit, i have a warehouse of new clothes at home now that i mightn’t even wear! You’d think that would deter me. Regrettably, it seems i have developed ridiculous resolve to sustain this most unfortunate addiction. I find myself determined to wear all the new clothes i’ve bought. I marvel at myself being so intent upon creating opportunities and excuses to wear them. The rough estimates of outstanding clothes i have yet to find time to throw on myself are as follows: 9 tops, 2 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of shorts, 5 dresses, a sweater and goodness knows what else. I’d say i’m doing pretty well already. I’m fairly impressed that there isn’t a skirt in the list there! If only i could just stop now. Sadly, i am planning my next shopping escapade as i’m typing. It’s making me more excited. Good golly, i need help. 

In other news, both the folks are complaining that i’m fat. Bummer. So i’ve decided to take exercise. I even surprised myself. There’s usually nothing i love more than to slump into a lump and waste away, but maybe it’s the realisation that i would eventually become a bigger and more unsightly lump as time passes with my very indifferent inactivity. I now jump on my trampoline for about an hour a day some days and then swim at night some days. I’m also considering taking some classes in kickboxing, or ballroom dancing. The huge downside to all this exercise is that now i’m aching all the time. You can’t imagine what it feels like to get off the trampoline after one hour and walk on solid ground. I walk funny for a long time, with my knees giving way as and when they darn well please. It hurts like hell when i bend my knees and it scares the bejesus out of me, because i think of what’s going on inside my knee. Maybe the cartilage is spoiling. Or the fluid in between my joints is drying up. (I actually used that as an excuse not to take PE once. I insisted to Mark Ng that ‘Sir, i can’t do PE because my knee joints are dried up! There’s no more fluid in there!’. The silly thing is that he actually did let me skip PE. Maybe it’s karma.) Please note, if you couldn’t already tell  from my ignorant assumptions of biology, that i haven’t the slightest clue how the inside of a knee works. This is just how i imagine it works. 

I want a pet hedgehog! They are the most adorable little things EVER. You need to see them. I love how their bodies are so round and spiky but their legs are so skinny. 

Everyday nowadays i have a headache in the evening. It happens between 5 and 7, and it feels awful! I hate headaches. So. Much. Well, so does everyone else. But i’ve been having them everyday! And at the same time. Today’s episode is particularly frightening, since it’s now 1am, i’m watching The Best of Saturday Night Live, and my head still hurts. It didn’t go away today. Which explains why i’m not somewhere fun celebrating Valentine’s. Besides these occurrences being painful, they’re also rather alarming, aren’t they? Perhaps it’s because i haven’t been using my brain much lately. I really hope there isn’t anything wrong with my head. But it sure sounds like there is, right? How now brown cow? I have no idea! 

On to the next topic. My mother just ate up my last two Harrod’s Milk Chocolate Chunks Cookies. I’m extremely pissed. I can’t believe she ate them, especially since she’s the resident health freak in the building. Maybe she’s depressed or whatever. As far as i’m concerned, i think she ate them out of spite, just so i couldn’t have them. At first, she was only going to eat one, but since the last two were stuck together, she decided to have both of them. Ugh. I love those cookies. I know i said before that i live on the New Zealand cookies in my last post, but in fact, there are a few things that i survive on. Besides the cookies, i drink blood orange juice all the time now. For the record, i hate ordinary OJ, but i love blood orange juice. It’s much better. 

Since i’ve been so bored of late, i want to learn baking. But noone is willing to attend lessons with me. Same goes for kickboxing, and ballroom dancing. I don’t have a partner to dance with! What’s the harm in learning to bake? It’s all good. I could learn how to make macaroons! Glorious macaroons. Imagine the possibilities! Realistically though, i would have to work my way to be macaroon worthy. I’d first have to learn to crack a bloody egg before i can think of advancing to macaroon calibre. But i think i’m willing to learn, and with time i could totally kick ass in the egg-cracking department! 

I’m really ticked off that i can’t watch the third season of 30 Rock. It’s my favourite show on air now, and i’m so frustrated that i can’t find the third season!! Tina Fey is amazing. She’s so funny. So is Alec Baldwin, but Tina Fey does the writing and is therefore more amazing. And i can’t watch her. Bugger. Does that suck or what? 

I read The Kite Runner about two and a half times. It’s a remarkable book. No, i don’t think it’s overrated. It’s such a lovely, sad story, and i’m a sucker for those. I want to watch the movie! Currently, i’m reading Ben Elton’s Chart Throb. It’s a satire of American Idol and i think it’s hilarious. It exaggerates everything in the whole reality TV genre, and you begin to see how absurd and nonsensical it is. Nonetheless, American Idol remains my guilty pleasure – especially the auditions at the start of each run and Simon Cowell. They’re hysterical. 

I want to write my own book! I’ve always wanted to try it, but i don’t know if i have the perseverance to do so. I think it’d be such great fun. Except i have nothing for a plot. Fantastic.  

While fixing up a DIY box from IKEA, i sustained multiple paper cuts from cardboard. I suppose technically cardboard is a form of paper, but who knew you could get a paper cut from cardboard? I thought paper cut us only because it’s thin and the edges are somewhat sharp. And thin cardboard certainly is not. The only reason i’m not complaining more is that the box i fixed is delightful! I don’t actually know what i’m going to use it for, but i just have it because it’s pretty. Also, my fingers are plastered with foam band-aids of different colours. My hands look like pieces of art now. 

I had the most lip-smacking ice cream today. It was Baskin Robbins Cotton Candy. It makes me drool. It’s just divine. But beware of it if you don’t have a sweet tooth. 

Two of my favourite songs at the moment are both entitled Lost. One’s by Michael Buble and the other’s Coldplay’s. In truth, i only just realised this bit of trivia. I was slightly stunned by how slow i was, considering how the two songs have been on constant replay on my ipod. 

Well, i believe that’s pretty much all i’m thinking about now. All that and i’m really hungry. 

Till next time! 

Things really haven’t been going my way lately.

For starters, the Australian Open. I wanted Verdasco to beat Nadal so bad. Seriously, the guy deserves a break. He played superbly and they were absolutely on par with each other all the way, even through the fifth set. That’s saying so much, considering Verdasco’s number fourteen and Nadal’s number 1. Then my guy double faulted. I almost cried. I may even have had a little tear. He was so close. I could smell victory around the bend and then he made his fatal error. That was the semi-final. So i managed to forget about it and look forward to yesterday’s finals. Alas it was false hope i gave myself. Nadal beat Federer. I was hoping Federer would get his fourteenth grand slam so he could be right up there with Pete Sampras. But it wasn’t to be. At least not at this grand slam. I suppose there will always be more grand slams for him to win. And i’m confident he’ll reach his fourteenth. Go Roger! 

Secondly, my phone is psycho. I can’t use the 8 and 9 keys anymore. They just don’t register when i hit them. And i’m so sick of trying to paraphrase everything that i’m trying to say in a text message without using the letters t, u, v, w, x, y, and z. I can do the easy replies of course, like okay will become sure or fine but try paraphrasing THURSDAY. I can’t even say the fourth weekday. Freaking hell, it’s killing me. 

Plus, my reserves of favourite cookies from New Zealand are fast depleting. They’re the most toothsome stuff, i’ll tell you. They’re actually just ordinary cookies but they’re coated with pink icing and topped with rainbow hundreds and thousands. I’m salivating even as i’m typing this. It is addictive. I was totally out of control and i didn’t realise i was slowly but very surely exhausting my supply. I blame this on the new packaging. It’s now packaged in those resealable ziplock baggies that you can’t see the bottom of, and i always assume there’s an endless supply because, ridiculously, i actually do believe it’s bottomless. And then i peer into the precious bag and… Woe is me! Grief overcomes me. Oh woe betide! I literally gasped and gaped in horror. I saw the sad reality that i could count the remaining cookies with my two hands. So i embarked on my mission to ration my supplies of this glorious food and only eat it when i absolutely must. It was going well until some visitors discovered them in my secret (well obviously, not so secret anymore) place where i stowed it away. And they didn’t ask. Damage done was a heart-stopping total of four cookies. Yes, it sounds petty. But now i can count the remaining cookies on ONE hand! I shan’t divulge who the damage-doer is. It’s not her fault. She didn’t know i practically live on the stuff. Oh, who am i kidding? Hell yeah, i hold a grudge. But only until i forget it, which is pretty much after this venting episode here. See, i’m already a happier person now. 

But wait till you hear what happened to my ipod!! It doesn’t work properly anymore because, wait for it, it fell into the bloody toilet. I kid you not. The touchscreen is malfunctioning and the screen looks like it has water inside it, and of course it does. It’s already an improvement, seeing as how i couldn’t even get it on for a while and i had to resort to blow-drying it. Now i can proudly say that i have joined the ranks of the utterly domestic and have fished around the inside of a toilet. ‘Tis a strange (and totally absolutely unquestionably undoubtedly 100% gross) feeling, really. Although, it did make me feel like i could conquer the world and do anything. I stuck my hand in the freaking toilet. Beat that! Now that should totally up my street cred. And in case you were wondering, there wasn’t anything in the toilet. Of course there wasn’t. I’m not an unsanitary savage, you know. I wouldn’t have gone on my valiant plunge of a rescue mission otherwise. But see, i don’t have a back-up plan now. My white nano and only viable option for a back-up was lent to Mark Cheng before the exams and he still has it. And even then, i don’t think i could use it since he said there’s something wrong with it now. Not that i blame him. My black nano doesn’t work anymore. And then my mini just might work, if i could just get it to register on my computer. Right now, i plug it in and nothing pops up on the desktop or in my itunes. Then my shuffle actually does work, except i can’t find the blasted wire to connect it to my computer. (Granted, i probably wouldn’t use my shuffle anyway because i find it annoying that i can’t see the song that i’m choosing and i have to memorise the order in which i have arranged my songs to select a song. Why go through such an ordeal to listen to a song? Isn’t it supposed to be a pleasurable experience? Plus, the novelty and spontaneity of hearing two completely different songs from genres that totally do not complement each other play back-to-back wears off after a while.) And i can’t find my photo or my video. Which is just stellar. I know the photo was somewhere on the top of some cupboard somewhere in the house but it isn’t anywhere to be found now. I can’t remember the last time i saw the video. You’d think i could use at least one of my ipods! That’s all i’m asking for. Is that too hard? My ipods hate me. It’s like they’re forming an alliance against me. It’s almost like they want to fall into the toilet. 

And the worst part of it all: I can’t listen to music to soothe me when misery decides to wreck my day. I can’t even wallow in self-pity without my music. I don’t have any cookies for comfort food. I don’t even have a text messaging function to bitch about having things to bitch about in the first place.

Oh well, c’est la vie. I’ll just have to wait till things take a turn for the better then. 

Meanwhile, go ahead and have a laugh at my circumstances, you sadistic dingbats. I’ll admit they are quite humourous, albeit in a perversely warped way. At least something good comes out of this.